Category — After shave / cologne

Have you opened that Acqua di Gio cologne/body wash gift set your aunt gave you for Christmas yet? Good. Don’t.

At least until you read this list of what you should be wearing instead.

(note: These opinions are strictly my own and reflect no commercial interest or claim of expertise. Except that I know more about this stuff than whomever gave you the AdG.)

These are in no particular order.

Carlos Santana for Men.

Carlos Santana for Men. We’ll start with this because it has a nice cinnamon-apple smell that’s Christmasy. This is the only ‘celebrity’ fragrance on our list. It’s warm. Makes you want to go check out white girls at the strip club and spend all the money you were supposed to send back to Mexico.

Azzaro pour Homme.

Azzaro pour Homme. This stuff has been around since the 70’s. It’s a timeless classic. Still one of the best colognes around. It’s a ‘fougere’ which means it’s based on tree moss. Don’t let that put you off. This stuff smells great. A favorite of mine. Makes you feel like the mob boss who owns the disco Tony Manero goes to in Saturday Night Fever.

Escada pour Homme.

Another 70’s classic. Makes you feel like Tony Manero. This one’s been discontinued but you can still find it at the off-price places like Marshall’s or Ross. I stocked up when my local TJ Maxx blew them out because they had battered boxes. Got enough to last for years, dirt cheap.

By the way, ‘pour homme’ just means ‘for men’ in French. You probably know that but just in case you don’t, relax.

Grey Flannel.

Grey Flannel. Another cologne that can be picked up cheap and yet another 70’s classic. It would seem the 70’s were a high-water mark for cologne. Might have had something to do with disco and all those open shirts, I dunno. GF is the counter to Azzaro and Escada. While the Brooklyn kids and mobsters were whooping it up, this is the stuff guys in Westchester wore to their proms. This juice is strong and very floral (violets, to be precise) so use sparingly.

Habit Rouge.

Habit Rouge. Now we’re getting grown-up. The name refers to the red coats worn by European huntsmen on horseback if that gives you any idea. A kind of sweet, woody scent. Reformulated to be less sweet a few years back. You can still get the old stuff in the more square bottle online. That’s what I bought, because I’m kind of a snob like that.

Terre d'Hermes

Terre d’Hermes. A personal favorite. The scent has been described as ‘an orange rotting on a park bench in summer’ by a non-fan. It is citrus, with kind of a dirty, earthy undertone. Makes me feel like I’ve been picking oranges in Portugal all day. You’d want to try this one before you buy, see if it’s for you. Check it out at Nordstrom. The woman at the counter will try to push some Acqua di Gio on you. Stay strong. Don’t do it.

Guerlain Vetiver.

Guerlain Vetiver. Another entry from the House of Guerlain, makers of Habit Rouge. I’m wearing this right now. Vetiver is a fragrant grass native to India. Most of it is grown in Haiti now. Exotic, no? It does have a grassy smell to me, though some describe it as ‘woody’. Another that’s not for everyone. Reminds me of working in my grandpa’s hay fields as a teenager, but I don’t have to smell the unwashed alcoholic hired hand next to me on the trailer.

Green Irish Tweed.

Green Irish Tweed. From the ‘niche’ (meaning you won’t find this stuff at Marshall’s or even Macy’s) House of Creed. The darling of fragrance snobs everywhere. What you wear when you’ve graduated from Cool Water. There is something in the middle of the note progression in this that I find faintly unpleasant. The base, however, is sublime.

This juice is the single most counterfeited cologne in the world. As such, you don’t want to buy it on Ebay unless you really know what you’re doing. Neiman Marcus is the only U.S. store you can get this in, as far as I know. Costco is carrying some Creed scents on their website, but not this one.

Bois du Portugal.

Bois du Portugal. Our second entry from Creed, and my favorite of their scents. ‘Bois’ means ‘wood’. Fragrant wood is, I guess, the best description I can think of. This is the stuff those guys in the Men’s Club in the movie Trading Places must be wearing. Whenever I put it on, I get a Wayne’s World flash: I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy! Then I put it on anyway. So expensive, I can only afford it by the decant.

Bulgari Black.

Bulgari Black. Here’s another terrific cologne you can get cheap at Marshall’s. The company likes to spell its name ‘Bvlgari’ to look more Roman or classy or something. I don’t mind, but I never know how I’m supposed to spell it.  I love this stuff because of its schizoid nature. It’s too feminine for men. It’s too masculine for women. It’s smoky. It’s sweet.

Its main scent is described as ‘burning rubber’ (hence the bottle looks like a tire), yet it drys down kind of sweet, like vanilla. It’s sort of like roasting marshmallows over a tire fire.

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So, there we have it. You don’t want that Acqua di Gio, trust me. It’s not that it’s bad. It’s just blah. Millions of other mall denizens are wearing it. They pimped it so hard on TV this Christmas just watching all those commercials made me feel dirty.

Take it back, and get something with soul. Something you. Something that gives you a feeling.

Like maybe, something from this list.

It’s nearing Christmas time, which means lots of TV advertising for electric shavers.

When I was a kid, I used to like the commercial for Norelco featuring Santa riding one of their razors down a slope as though it were a sled. The brand name at the end would morph into the spelling “Noel co”. Fun.

This year, we have the Braun Series 7 with ‘pulse-a-riffic’ technology. This thing sends out some kind of pulse that makes the skin ripple, thus providing a closer shave. Somehow.

I checked this little number out on Amazon. While it lists for $269.95, you can get it now for a mere $225, though that price is so low they aren’t allowed to show it unless you click a special link.

Two Hundred Twenty-Five Dollars for an electric shaver. Just wow.

Ladies, Wet Shavers Blog would like to provide you a service if shaving is your goal for your man’s gift this year.

On the right sidebar, you’ll see selections pulled out of Amazon and gathered in one handy stop, all related to old-style wet shaving.

Nip in there and pick out:

• Razor. I’d go Merkur brand. The HD (Heavy Duty) is probably the best choice for a beginner.
• Blades. The razor will likely come with a couple of Merkur blades. Grab another pack just in case.
• Brush. Go wild here. A wet shaver’s first brush is a starting point. You needn’t put too much thought into this. Somewhere between $50 and $100 would secure a high-quality shaving brush that will last a lifetime.
• Cream or soap. For the $225 that Braun is going for, we have enough room left in our budget for a top-shelf shaving cream. Check out the George F Trumper’s or Taylor of Old Bond Street classic English shaving creams and see what scent you’d like, or think he’d like. These are among the finest shaving creams in the world.

If you like, grab some cologne or maybe a nice thick stoneware bowl or mug that he can make lather in. The bullet points alone will get enough gear to allow your man to have a shave Christmas morning; and start him down the path to a lifetime of enjoyment.

I’m sure ’sonic-pulsing-gizmonics’ electric shavers are nifty items. I’m not sure guys love them the way they do wet shaving.

Take a chance and be a little different this year. I’m virtually certain you and he will be glad you did.

"Mmmmm, nice shave."

I’ve mentioned that lots of guys get into wet shaving initially because they’re sick of paying through the nose for overpriced cartridge blade shaving systems, a la the Gillette Fusion.

Yeah, you come for the money savings. Then, you get used to the sheer pleasure of warm lather being worked into your face with a soft, silvertip badger shave brush. Before you know it, you’ve got Wet Shaving Acquisition Disorder and you’re all over the Net bidding on Fat Boy adjustable Super Speeds, looking at the fine English soaps and creams, checking out the Rooney and Vulfix brushes, ordering blades by the gross and wondering how you’re going to explain all this stuff coming into the house to your wife.

Been there. It happens to us all.

Wet shaving is such a pleasurable hobby, it’s hard not to go a little overboard when you get into it. Yes, I said hobby. It’s strange how a routine that used to be a dreaded chore becomes an anticipated ritual. You put a lot of thought, time, and money into it. Shaving becomes a hobby.

That’s because it feels so damn good.

So good, that I’ve seen more than one stogie-chomping, Marine Corps serving, muscle car-driving, deer hunting, bar brawling tough guy turn into a Nancy Boy-shopping metro after taking up wet shaving. OK, maybe I exaggerate a bit. But not by much. Pampering oneself a bit is enjoyable. Nothing wrong with it.

You start taking better care of your skin and grooming overall. Maybe you invest in some real bathing soap when you learn that deodorant bar you’ve been using for years isn’t really soap at all, it’s detergent. You might get serious about losing some weight (happened to me) and keeping your hair a little better barbered than you used to. You invest in some nice cologne or aftershave and finally put on those clothes she bought for you that you wouldn’t have been caught dead in.

Next thing you know, your partner gets that gleam in her eye again when she looks at you and you’re getting some of the best sexing up you’ve had since you started dating.

All because you got fed up with paying Gillette too much money for a shave you hated doing anyway.

Yes, yes. Come for the savings. Stay because it feels good.

Photo credit: Mark J. Sebastian